Rascals – Movie Review

– By Vinay

CRASSCALS

As a kid I thoroughly enjoyed David Dhawan’s comic capers. I loved Aankhen, Raja Babu, Haseena Maan Jayegi, Bade Miyan Chotte Miyan – the list is long! Couple of things stand out in these films – Govinda’s comic timing was top notch in each and they were all released in the 90s. The 2000s have not been as kind to the portly director (and vice
versa I must add). Most of David Dhawan’s recent movies have barely been funny and mostly been irritating. Rascals is, sadly, no different.

But I shall remember Rascals for entirely different reasons. I had strictly refused to review this movie citing lack of suitable company as the excuse. The authorities at Music Aloud then came to the fore and said they had found me the perfect company. She (yes she!) was a David Dhawan fan and was really keen on watching this one. The sly move of sending her FB profile link finally convinced me. (Must.Never.Trust.Profile.Pics.Again.)

As the credits rolled on, we took our corner seats (What? Don’t judge me; the ticket guy automatically issues corner seats when you ask him for two). The film has Arjun Rampal in the first scene, never a good sign that. Oooh, said she. Ohh no, I sighed. The first of the many hand reaching forehead moments happened.

Soon enough the two leads, Ajay Devgn and Sanjay Dutt are introduced, cartoons introducing them as conmen (I am sure a cartoon wrote this script). They have looted the same guy (Arjun again) and are off to Thailand. Why, I wonder? Probably the Thai tourism authorities gave them a discount, I say aloud. She ignored it, glued to the screen. Hmm.

I was shaking my head as Lisa Haydon appeared with her Shake it Saiyyan item song. Decently hot, I was thinking inside but understanding the presence of the girl around, on the outside I said, ‘She should eat something na, her face looks way too big for her body’, grinning broadly. She turned, hissed loudly, ‘You guys have to find a flaw in everything, don’t you?’

I noticed she had taken it personally, as if I had made the comment on her, which wouldn’t have been too inappropriate honestly. Man, did that backfire royally or what.

Kangana Ranaut makes her bikini entry next in slow motion. After my last experience, I decide against any comments on Kangana, though her twin debutants were really  inviting – the taunts in my head.

Meanwhile, onscreen the two conmen are after each other’s throats to get the heroine. Standard Dhawan fare, I remembered the funny Deewana Mastana (Govinda again!). I got kind of hopeful, this is the director’s forte and the gags must be good now. But here is where my nightmare actually began.

You see, I had been told that this girl I came with had a very adorable and endearing laugh. I kind of find that cute in girls and was keenly looking forward it. But when someone shrieks at the most unfunny scenes in this history of Indian cinema and erupts into laughter so irritating that it will put Aishwarya to shame, one knows he has been had. On screen Kangana was shouting her guts out and next to me this female was the only one in the entire hall laughing in a combination of a cow’s moo and a sheep’s baa! As surprised neighbours looked at us, I tried my best I-don’t-know-her look. It didn’t work though. The now unwise corner seats meant that we were closer to the Dolby speakers which meant a louder Kangana. I made a mental note of shifting somewhere in the center post interval. In between my ear turmoil, in true anti-Farhan Akhtar style, the songs kept popping out of nowhere, my patience had by now worn out. Some of the caramel popcorn was still left. I took two and plugged each of my ears.

The gags kept rolling on though, incoherent scenes kept piling one by one and surely this nonsense had to end soon. It did, close to 2.5 hours later, as abruptly as it all began. I am not going to tell you how and why, the director did not bother to tell me either.

To be honest, I miss those Govinda-David Dhawan comedies, some of them are worth a rerun on television even now. And it is sad to see the man dish out such crass movies. Among the actors Sanjay Dutt does manage a rare laugh and as for Kangana, well the lesser said the better. Can someone please give her those drug addict roles again? Also do a favour to humanity; please dub her voice in future movies, please.

As for my date for the night, well we parted with her saying, ‘I had a great time, do call me, you have my number’. Yeah right, I will call you! I will be lucky if I can get that witch like laugher sound out of my head.

Rating: Terrible (will stick to my earlier stand, no ratings for bad movies). And not just terrible but will split your head into two if you watch it level terrible. Recommend you give free tickets to the person you hate at work.

Dessert Note (DN, as desserts are served after main course, a dessert note is served after the main article):  What is the definition of creative liberties again?